National Carers Week runs from Sunday 13 to Saturday 19 October and is a time when we recognise, celebrate and raise awareness of unpaid carers across the country. According to Census data, there are three million carers in Australia. That’s one in every eight people.
To mark Carers Week 2024, we sat down with LiveBetter – Carer Gateway’s Michelle Kilkeary. Michelle, a Carer Coach, works with carers, helping them to identify personal goals and a pathway to achieving them, and importantly, supporting them as they navigate the obstacles that can arise along the way.
In short, Michelle helps carers to take back their lives and to remember who they are beyond their caring role.
Michelle also cares for her 12-year-old son, Ollie, who has Autism, ADHD and Anxiety Disorder, giving her first-hand experience of both the joys and the challenges faced by carers. Michelle was, herself, recently diagnosed with Autism and ADHD.
A bit of background
Born and bred in Western Sydney, Michelle now lives in Orange with her partner, her twelve-year-old son, Ollie, and their dog, Rusty.
Growing up Michelle had always imagined she’d become a schoolteacher – or at least work with children in some capacity.
“I’ve always worked with kids. I’m drawn towards working with children who have disabilities or are disadvantaged in some way. When I was young, I did a lot of volunteering with children with autism, and then, as an adult, I became a teacher’s aide.”
Moving to Orange during the Pandemic, Michelle was looking for work as a teacher’s aide when she saw the Carer Gateway Peer Support role advertised.
Carer Gateway provides much-needed services and support to unpaid carers. This support can help them in their caring role, and lead to better outcomes for both the carer and the care recipient.
“I saw the ad, and I thought ‘I could do that’. It felt like a good fit for me.”
LiveBetter Carer Gateway
After eighteen months as a Carer Gateway Peer Support Partner, Michelle moved into the role of Carer Coach.
“It was a really good move for me. I loved Peer Support, I really did, but coaching is much more suited to me. It’s 100% one-on-one.”
A Carer Coach works with individual carers over 6 sessions, helping them to identify goals, and work towards achieving them. It sounds straightforward enough, but many carers have spent so long focused on the needs of others they have forgotten how to look inward and consider their own needs.
“I guide them through the process. I help them to discover what it is they want to achieve and work out the steps they need to take to achieve them. And that’s the easy part. It’s often as they begin to work through the steps that they hit obstacles – and that’s where the most important work is done.”
“It’s really interesting work. People open up and share a lot of themselves. Seeing people change, seeing their mindset change, can be incredibly rewarding.”
One thing that Michelle has learned while working in the Carer Gateway, is the importance of really listening. To stop talking and just listen.
“Sure, we can change lives by talking, but we can change them more by listening. And I think it’s something we all need to do more of.”
On being a carer
“I care for my son Ollie who has autism, ADHD, and anxiety disorders. And that means that our life can look very different from day to day.”
“There’s a lot of routine and structure in our house – and in our lives. It’s an interesting journey, and one that can flip on its head in minutes.”
One of Michelle’s biggest challenges as a carer is navigating the NDIS.
“When the NDIS first rolled out, it was much easier to navigate. Over time it has become incredibly challenging – navigating it is probably one of the biggest challenges we face.”
“The scheme is continuously changing, which is so hard when you’re trying to raise a child who needs support. Just when you get your head around the changes, they go and change it again!”
“I work in the community sector – and I struggle to understand it. Can you imagine how hard it must be for people who don’t have that knowledge, who don’t have the education or who have an intellectual disability?”
Quick Questions
What is the best thing about your work?
“It’s just knowing that you’re helping other people – that is so rewarding.”
What is the most challenging thing about your work?
“Hearing some of the stories can be confronting – so often I wish I could do more.”
Top Tip for work-life balance
“Turn your phone off and leave your laptop at work.”
What keeps you going, getting up and doing it all again, each day?
“I think it’s knowing that just by showing up and listening you’re making a difference.”
Hopes for the future?
“I hope that people can continue to get the support and assistance they need in the future.”
If there was one piece of advice you could give to others who are starting in the community sector, what would it be?
“Listen more and speak less.”
If there was one piece of advice you could give to other carers, what would it be?
“Look after yourself. Put yourself first. The person you care for will benefit if you look after yourself.”
If you’re one of Australia’s 3 million unpaid carers, you can access practical advice and support by contacting Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737. Carer Gateway is an Australian Government initiative. LiveBetter is the Carer Gateway Service Provider in regional NSW.
